South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
