next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
