C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
