Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am spending my child support on dildos
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
