HIV tests are more positive than that guy
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize