the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
