it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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