he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
