guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
