Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize