can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
