My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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