There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
