yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
