at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
