Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
