you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
