Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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