Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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