Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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