Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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