Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
