I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
