He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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