Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize