There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
