I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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