I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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