I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
