I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
