we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
two words: eviction party
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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