I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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