We named our party play list daddy issues
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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