dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So squirting runs in the family.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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