and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
