I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
