fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
