Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
