I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
