Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
