I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You pole danced in your parka.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
