So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it's great music for shaving your balls
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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