yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
