You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And then my night got REAL pukey
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
