So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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