Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
dude. I can hear the air.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
