my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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