I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
