so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
