I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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