The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
