I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My bed smells like the plague
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
