I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
