You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
