OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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