4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
