i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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