I feel great
I just peed on a car
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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