Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
